Sunday, September 21, 2008

Insanity of "I"

What would you think of a person having a heart filling conversation with the empty space? Definitely not in the right state of mind!! After all, for any conversation to take place there has to be a listener along with the speaker. Communication between people can serve multiple purposes. But seeing it widely, it can be classified into two broad categories – to share information and for the sake of entertainment.

Communicating to share knowledge or information is required for all practical purposes in life. Sparing the task of questioning the very meaning of any purpose in life and hence questioning the use of having any sort of conversation for some later time, this kind of communication can be safely assumed useful, sane and essential.

Apart from this, communication or conversation between people is predominantly held for filling the empty space in one's life, to reduce boredom and for the sake of entertainment. It could be for the interest or entertainment of the listeners or could be for mutual interest....However, more often than not, one speaks to gratify his or her own ego. It somehow fulfills the "I" within a person. One just wishes to speak without trying to enquire whether the other side is at all interested or not. This insanity of "I" becomes more apparent with the observation of a person talking so incessantly, completely failing to notice the utter disinterest of the listener or in some extreme cases the absence of the listener altogether.

In a similar situation, when a continuous stream of random words was showered on me and the madness of it all became so unbearably apparent, another revelation dawned upon me. To my dismay, I realized that I could very well be on the other side of the “one sided” conversation, may be in some more subtle instances. I couldn’t help noticing from there on the space that most people try to grab in between a conversation to add their own point of view. The conversation per say may not hold any significance, what makes it important is one's own words added to it. In many occasions, I resisted from doing so myself. This realization of mine, instead of creating the much sought after halo over me, simply brought in an increased level of frustration and a stronger desire to communicate...with someone...just about anyone!!!

Where did I go wrong in my analysis?!! I decided to start afresh. What would you think of a person having a heart filling conversation with the empty space? Just one among us…Yes, that is what it was!!! This slight shift in my point of view, made things fall in place perfectly. With my new found analysis and without loosing my sense of sanity, I start this blog site of mine to fulfill my urge to communicate!!


Harmanjit Singh said...

Susan, the desire to be listened to is perhaps linked with wanting an acknowledgment of one's inner life and of one's self. Hence one is so grateful to find a good listener.

However, the desire to share one's thoughts is also a basic part of what makes us social beings. Without sharing our discoveries, our predicaments and our meandering thoughts, there is a danger that we can lose perspective and become self-enclosed and indulge in grandiose or cyclic patterns of thought.

Even listening to oneself (as in writing a diary) has been traditionally considered therapeutic.

There is such an aching void within that one wants to unite with another person completely, or to completely immerse oneself in a passing fancy, to be no more the isolated self that is one's experience since one became conscious.

This drive for fulfillment and to be lonely no more is perhaps the final frontier. Most of us find an anchor or other which passably sustains us (in a quiet but tolerable desperation) throughout life.

Darshan Chande said...

Interesting blog, Susan :)